Category: wellbeing

Happy Places

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Today I wanted to talk about Disney World. Why? No particular reason other than its a happy place to talk about and we should all have our happy places.


Every year my husband and I visit Disney World in Florida. It’s not cheap and it takes a year’s worth of saving, but when visiting a place is special to you then you do all you can to make it happen. 

To us Disney world is an escape. A break from the world we live in where all we see on the news is war and hate. This doesn’t mean we turn our back on the world of course. It simply means we take a moment away from it to just be ourselves.



Disney is often described as an escape from the ‘real world’. But when you think about it really, what is the real world? In our day to day lives we are fed media lies and unnecessary information about unnecessary things. Working in businesses, that if the world were to have an apocalypse, no one would care about. When we’re at Disney we are living in the present every moment. With each other with no external pressures and being who we truly are. We are not tied to a need to appear a certain way or act a certain way. We can just be who we are with fun, love and freedom.


It might not be everyone’s cup of tea but everyone has that one place that is special to them, where they can be themselves more than ever. And if you don’t have that place then find it. Maybe it’s a friend’s house. Maybe it’s even your own (if you can still let go of the pile of bills on the side). 


We’re always so excited to go back to our ‘real world’ where the clouds part and you can see the wood through the trees without any outside worries.

In fact, we decided to get engaged and married in our happy place where we could just truly be us. 


I’m so excited for 2017 where we get to visit my best friend’s happy place in Vegas to watch her get married and to visit Disneyland in California for the first time having new adventures and making memories.

To happy places all over the world

XxX 

Tower of Terror ride queue and EPCOT

 

That Fri-Yay feeling

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What do you think about the whole ‘Fri-Yay feeling’? Unless you work in a role that isn’t weekday specific, such as emergency services or retail, we’ve all pretty much had that Fri-Yay feeling. A feeling that brings us all together, a common emotion we can all share in ‘thank goodness that week is over’.

I always think it’s quite sad though that we’re often wishing our life away. I can’t wait for ‘the weekend’ ‘for a few days off’ ‘for a break’. But doesn’t that essentially mean that we’re only actually allowing ourselves to live 2 days out of 7. Of course we have our ups and downs in the week, happy and sad moments, but if we’re always only ever looking forward and waiting for what’s coming then are we ever really in the present? 

They say the people most satisfied with life on their death bed are those that have lived in the present the most. Those that feel they have absorbed and learnt from as many days as possible. Like now, you’re reading this but that means you’re not currently in the present. Your mind is focused on reading instead of what’s going on around you. Who are you with? What can you smell? Is it warm? Cold? What sounds can you hear, quiet and loud? What can you taste? What can you feel? 

People with anxiety are often taught these mindfulness exercises. Living in the present rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. I like the saying ‘the past is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift. That’s why they call it the present!’ (Yes I did copy that from Kung Fu Panda). But it’s very true. No one knows if tomorrow will ever come for any of us and the past no longer exists. The only time that currently exists is now, and now, and now. We are always moving forward, never back and we are never guaranteed the next second.

What would you do if this was your last minute to live? Would you say ‘I can’t wait for Friday?’ Or would you make the most of every second you have right now? I’m not telling you to be extreme here like my OCD makes me when it comes to there being no tomorrow. What I am saying is to live in the present just a little bit more. 

What can you do today to make yourself happy TODAY of course remember the possible repercussions on tomorrow and the lessons you learnt from yesterday, but use that knowledge to make today better.

We will always be looking forward to that Fri-Yay feeling. That’s just human nature. But in the mean time, remember not to wish the present and your life away. After reading this look up and think about what is going on around you, get involved in the conversations, jump in the puddles, dance in the street. The only person that will be sad they didn’t is you. 

What is Friday actually going to do for you today?

The present, right now, really is a gift.

Living in the now

XxX

Ps. I know not everyday is fun and actually some are pretty awful, especially where our loved ones are unwell. And that’s why it’s so important to use the present more in the ordinary days so that our difficult days are more manageable. 

The Power of Positivity

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Today I’m proud of myself for conquering my demons and one of my biggest fears – confrontation when I just want to be liked.

The thing about being assertive is that it doesn’t have to involve conflict or any negativity. If you prepare what you want to say, and really think about how it is going to land with the other person, then it can be quite beneficial for you both.

Yesterday I had to deliver a very personal and difficult message to someone. Explaining how their actions had affected me and how they could have acted more constructively, delivering the same message to me but in a positive manner.

Disney: where I feel most assertive and just like me!

I may have cried a little at one point, which I’m kind of annoyed at myself for, but I recovered very quickly and continued the conversation. I suppose this isn’t a negative and in some instances can be a positive. Showing people that you are human and have emotions can actually make you more credible as a person because people see you as ‘real’.

I stood my ground and politely put my point across, explaining my reasoning. Disagreeing with someone doesn’t have to be a negative experience. In fact, disagreeing with each other is the reason the world progresses and how we learn from each other. How boring would life be if we all thought exactly the same things at the same time. 

The moral of the story is to remember to step out of the stream sometimes and watch from the river bank. We’re always caught up in our own journey and emotions and often find it hard to have an objective view of our situations. By stepping out of the stream and watching the situation from the river bank I was able to think about the right questions to ask and how the other person may feel about them. 


Minnie Mouse understands the power of positivity! 

If I had just gone to this person with the attitude of ‘this is how it is and I’m upset and it’s your fault and you’re wrong’ then they would have instantly been defensive and my message would not have got through. Instead I went to them and asked them politely what their intention was for their actions. What did they hope to get from it, so that I can understand the reasoning a little better. Listening to understand instead of listening to respond is a great life skill and one that we could all be better at. 

So the next time you’re facing a difficult situation, before allowing your emotions to take over, just step out of the stream and on to the river bank. What is actually happening in this situation? What are the facts and not just the feelings? How would an outsider assess the situation? How can you think about it in a more positive light? 

Only when you think about a problem from all directions will you be able to fully understand how to get your message across and be understood. And once you’ve conquered that you’ll be master of your own universe! 

Feeling assertive 

XxX

Who are you Today?

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I spoke to friends today about the reinvention of yourself. About how amazing the world and your life can be if you just take a step back to truly think about life.

Picture by David Wilsher Instagram:DJWillox

It took me allowing myself to fail and give up before I was able to see what I really truly want from life. I became unemployed for 4 months which was ridiculously scary. I have never been unemployed from the day that I was legally able to work. Never had a gap in employment even when studying full time or studying part time. Allowing and accepting myself to fall into the ‘unemployment category’ was an incredible learning journey and one that I never thought I would be brave enough to take.

We all have this inherent fear that we must always be working toward a purpose, in employment or looking for employment. Raising a family or looking for employment. Now I know it’s fundamental to secure your finances but what if you could just take a third of a year off to really think about who you are? Do you think you would want to keep doing what you’re doing? Considering you only get one shot in this life?

Picture by David Wilsher Instagram:DJWillox

In those 4 months when I was unwell with my own mental health and then planning my wedding, I was for once in my life finally able to reflect. I had the freedom to completely reinvent myself. Was the career I’m working on truly one for me? Or should I go for something completely out of the box and new!

I’m back in employment now, not only for financial reasons but also to not become house bound and too dependent on others, staying away too long would have made my anxiety worse. But those 4 months of reflecting gave me the chance to think about something I never thought about before, who am I? And I don’t mean what do I do, what’s my background or my academics. But who am I?

Who would I have been back when we still lived in caves, what would I have been good at and what would I have enjoyed? Letting go of what I thought I wanted, but wasn’t making me happy, taught me to explore what I actually wanted.

And in honesty I don’t think most people in this world know what they want. And I mean what they really want, who they really are. And of course our wants and needs can change.

I’ve spent a career educating myself in the legal profession for 8 years and 5 years in Learning and Development teaching adults. But what really inspires me is the Stars. The science behind how we came to be and where we’re going. Inventing the next rocket to the moon or being instrumental in our journey to Mars. It’s something I was never conditioned to do and something school or education never opened the door for me on. 

Picture by David Wilsher Instagram:DJWillox

By reflecting on who I truly am I’ve been able to learn more about who I want to be. 

I have to thank myself for being brave enough to let go of what I had and what I thought I wanted but that wasn’t making me happy. 

I’m currently in the process of obtaining student finance for an engineering degree. I want to be an engineer, a physicist, a designer and an innovator. I thought I was an extrovert and despite my bubbly and loud nature I learnt that in fact, I’m an introvert who enjoys socialising. I thought I enjoyed working in teams more but now I’ve learnt that I love personal challenges and leading teams.

Picture by David Wilsher Instagram:DJWillox

If there is one thing you do this year, 2017, take a step back. Take a moment to stop and think about who you are, not what you do. 

I really do live by the notion that sometimes you have to loose yourself to find your true self. 

Writing this blog has helped me to reflect on the thoughts and feelings I have each day and what causes me to feel that way. My advice to you is to find a way to express yourself. Whether it be writing, painting, drawing, dancing. Whatever works for you do it. Express how you feel and learn from it. 

Are you pleased with the way you have felt over the past week and would you be pleased to feel like that every week for the rest of your life? If the answer is yes then that’s amazing! But if the answer is no then you need to take action now, not tomorrow, not next week but now. No one is going to take action for you. No friend, psychic, coach or psychologist can do it for you. Only you can discover what makes you happy and you are the only one that can make things happen.

Picture by David Wilsher Instagram:DJWillox

Today I’m not who I was 8 years ago when I began my journey in the legal profession. Today I’m an aspiring physicist who wants to help develop the world. Today I’m me.

Who are you today?

XxX

Photo credit: Today I would like to thank my beautiful friend David Wilsher who has been an absolute rock to me, an inspiration and in many ways at many times my saviour. All of these beautiful pictures are his own and he has kindly shared them with me. You can find more on his Instagram: DJWillox


I have a theory 

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I have a theory that if the working world worked less hours we would actually be more productive and healthier. I’ve always wondered how the 5 day working week came about and who ever thought it would be a good idea. How have we all naturally accepted and migrated to this notion.

Imagine if everyone worked a 4 day week or even 3.5 day week. We would have more time for ourselves and our families. Enjoying and having more time for our personal life would make us resent our working life less.

I have previously worked compressed hours. Full time hours in a 4 day week. I always made a point to leave on time and I always took my full hour lunch. I was actually more productive in these 4 days than I was in 5 and I believe that if my hours were less I would be even more productive.

How many of us procrastinate on a daily basis? When you have a goal to focus on, a deadline each day to leave on time and go home, and your reward is just that ‘going home’ we can be so much more productive. If we go into work of the mind that ‘today is going to be a long day’ then it will be, you won’t send that email now because well you’re here all night and you have plenty of time!

Of course there are those of us that really are overworked. A very close friend of mine works extremely long hours and works incredibly hard with very little procrastination. I see the effect this has on her and the stress it causes not only mentally but physically too. How did she get to this point? And yet others of the same level and role of her, often paid more, are working less. It’s that old saying ‘victim of your own success’. We need to learn to put our work down and come back to it and if that means deadlines are missed then there is a problem with the process and organisation and not the person.

Sweden have recently wised up to this and reduced weekly working hours to increase productivity and well being.

Imagine if we all only worked 3 days. There would be more jobs available for others. Yes we would be paid less but everyone would be so the cost of living would go down. Everyone would be much healthier and would cost the health service less and the world would be a much happier place generally. 

People would have more time to learn and develop them selves. Time to give back and volunteer. Time to see their children.

I know my plan will be full of holes but it’s a nice thought isn’t it?

How did we get where we are and where are we going? 

In a few weeks I move to a 4 day week and I can’t wait. 

Feeling optimistic

XxX